vinval ([info]vinval) wrote,
@ 2007-04-21 18:00:00
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Current location:lost on the internets
Current mood: cheerful
Current music:Dig - Incubus
Entry tags:fic, perspective, xxxholic

My Temple [Doumeki Perspective, Cha 13]
Title: My Temple
Rating: PG
Spoilers: *laughs* Um, Chapter 13?
Word count: 646
Summary: Doumeki is not fond of Watanuki or his ways.
Disclaimer:Characters owned by CLAMP.
Dedication: Much thanks to [info]chidorinokoe for the beta and pointing out what has got to be bad translation on Del Rey's part. Also, for the anonymous poster at [info]ficcentricity's anonymous ficfest post who requested something like this.

Once again, speculation on character motivation. BACK TO THE ROOTS!

I hate guys like you. When I overheard your pathetic attempts to impress Kunogi, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to piss you off. Yeah, you’re one of the few people that can keep up with me on a soccer field, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re an obnoxious, loudmouthed idiot. Even worse, you’re one of those types whose whole world hinges on the opinion of someone else.

I’ve never understood why anyone would let someone else effect their life that much.

“And six full–fledged miracles happened at the school today?”

While you are a fool, it’s amusing to watch you flail and sputter and wave your arms as I walk away. I’m not going to miss class over someone like you.

That should’ve been the end of it.

Which is why I’m surprised the next day when you stalk right up to me during lunch period, a glower on your face, and mutter something incoherent. I raise an eyebrow. You repeat yourself, understandable this time, and now both my eyebrows shoot up. You want what? My expression seems to annoy you, as does my next comment, and your contorting face only compounds my amusement further. “Huh? You want to do a ghost story night at my temple?”

Because little do you know that it is my temple. It was my grandfather’s, and now it’s mine, and I have absolutely no intention of letting a fool like you taint the sanctity of it. “Why should I let you use my place for your play time activities?” My amusement had moved beyond curiosity and into irritation. Do you even know what goes on inside a Shinto temple?

You do your full–body protest act again and mutter some convoluted explanation that I ignore, catching only the words boss made me, and didn’t wanna. There’s no may I, no please. You don’t even realize how inexplicably rude it is of you to approach me at school with this request instead of properly asking me at the temple itself. I’m so annoyed that I can’t even think of words.

Fool, indeed.

I open my mouth to tell you no way when your eyes go wide and you glance over your shoulder to look out the window at something that isn’t there. It’s a strange habit that gets many girls whispering about how it’s a shame you’re so weird, but I don’t notice. Because for that split second, your face cracks open – it’s raw and painted with fear. But your right eye…

Your right eye is as amber–gold as the ones I see in the mirror every day.

And suddenly, no way becomes, “Okay,” and your attention is drawn back to me, and both your eyes are blue again. You’re lucky I’m a man who keeps his word, because written between the surprise and the anger on your face is grudging acceptance. Well, I don’t want you in my temple, either.

But I remember my grandfather’s words about things that appear one way thing but are really another, and how I should never doubt that there are things to this world that can’t be seen. I pray it was just a trick of the light, because the faster you’re in and out of my life, Watanuki, the better.

“But…”

You glare and wait for me to finish the sentence, and my mind churns with all the ways I can end it. Don’t think you’re welcome. Don’t think that you don’t owe me.

Don’t think this makes us friends.


“Wear a yukata.” I arch an eyebrow. “You do own one, don’t you?” That gets you riled enough that even as I walk away, I can hear your dumb shouts all the way down the hallway.

For some reason, I suddenly feel the need to hold my bow, and practicing archery seems pressingly important.

Does anyone else notice that Doumeki talks differently (at least in the published English volumes) and is drawn slightly differently (rougher around the edges, I'd say) until the Hundred Ghost Story Ceremony?




(22 comments) - (Post a new comment)

Lovely!
[info]sparklyfanta
2007-04-22 02:19 am UTC (link)
I think I reviewed one of your stories once on ff.n, but I'm very lame about feedback.

Anyway, this is, like most of your stuff, very lovely and very...very Doumeki. You have a real knack for nailing these characters and their personalities. I love your stuff, even if I'm really bad about reviewing.

And yeah, I noticed the language and drawning style as well. I think the language was something the translator may have been experimenting with, and the drawing style may have just been CLAMP settling into his character. But who knows?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Lovely!
[info]vinval
2007-04-22 04:29 am UTC (link)
That's alright - I don't review everything I read, which is terrible of me.

I'm glad you enjoy it!

That's what I thought, too, that it was a weird mix of translation and CLAMP still cementing Doumeki into character.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]themodestotter
2007-04-22 03:16 am UTC (link)
I agree that Doumeki is a little strange, for the first couple of chapters. I think that CLAMP hadn't quite decided how they were going to use him yet. Though I'm glad they decided to use him the way they did. :3

But, um, yes! At the beginning, I like how you remember that Doumeki didn't exactly seem to like Watanuki. I thought that dynamic was always important.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vinval
2007-04-22 04:33 am UTC (link)
Indeed!

With all the Doumeki-forwardness, I sometimes forget that at the beginning, Doumeki didn't much like the situation either. He's just much more adaptable than Watanuki.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ariadnechan
2007-04-22 04:22 am UTC (link)
that's is the first simtome of denial agude dislike(think about Li xiao lang with Sakura), but he can't say no to him... that is so sweet!!!
and i think Kimihiro always see Dou like this... he see him like he was at the begenig so he doesn't undertand Shisuka at all !!
kimihiro think "you hate me, why you constanly save my life!"
is good!!!

(Reply to this)


[info]nikkernoodle
2007-04-22 07:43 am UTC (link)
*OMGWATANUKIFLAILSPAZ!*

oh my lordy, BRILLIANCE! *luffs and mems* I loved the perspective, and Doumeki's attitude, and GUH

*coherancy = notsomuch* *is that blown away*

(Reply to this)


[info]baka_taru
2007-04-22 10:10 am UTC (link)
i must say it seems different from you usual it focuses on the negative twords someone else bvut it turns light in a very subtle way and makes you think "why" why did he say yes what happened in his head
i think you did a good job
great huggs

(Reply to this)


[info]factorielle
2007-04-22 01:10 pm UTC (link)
reaction to seeing the link over at the comm --> OMG YES. *squees*

This. Was exactly what I wanted. (Because yeah, the original request was from me.) Doumeki all irritated and annoyed but already enjoying the flailing a little. And him going along with things anyway just in case. And the flashes of the future. And his urge to have the last word. Awwwwww.

WHY YES COHERENCE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.

*coughs*

Also,
I’ve never understood why anyone would let someone else effect their life that much.
and
the faster you’re in and out of my life, Watanuki, the better

Oh the love I have for these two sentences. Doumeki really has no idea. *pats him*

Thank you!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vinval
2007-04-23 12:22 am UTC (link)
Yay!

I wrote this and had it beta'd and was wondering when I was going to actually post it and then I saw the request, and I thought, Huh. Well, if that's not Hitsuzen giving me a kick in the pants, I'm as blind as Watanuki. So. Thank you for giving me motivation to get over my self-consciousness!

I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]factorielle
2007-04-23 10:10 am UTC (link)
Yes. It was all hitsuzen all along.

Would it also be hitsuzen if you wrote the hyakumonogatari story I've seen you mention? :3

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]vinval
2007-04-24 05:36 am UTC (link)
hyakumonogatari? eh? ghost story ceremony?

I need to take japanese.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]factorielle
2007-04-24 09:41 am UTC (link)
Yes, that's what I meant.

This, I must admit, comes from having the anime in the background while I do something else. The english translation doesn't really imprint, and since I read the manga in french I have to resort to japanese. If that makes any sense.

Don't we all. *sighs*

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lodelco
2007-04-22 02:47 pm UTC (link)
Can you write more of this please? I'm always curious about what really goes around in Doumeki's head and I think that you portray him quite nicely.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vinval
2007-04-23 12:43 am UTC (link)
Um, can I get clarification on "this"? Do you mean continuing Douemki's POV into the Hundred Ghost Story Ceremony? Or continuing this exact perspective?

I've got a HGSC pov on my growing list, so I'll see what I can do, although I must warn I don't always write quickly.

Thanks for the compliment, though! It brightens my day to hear such things. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lunargeography
2007-04-23 03:08 am UTC (link)
I hadn't noticed -- when I get my manga out of post-move storage, I'll have to look for it!

I do think you've found a new, fascinating and very strong voice for Doumeki here -- and that brief moment, where Watanuki's eye looked gold -- I wonder if that was foresight or Haruka-san sending a message to his heir?

And I really, really, really would love you to write more of this -- I want to know what this Doumeki makes of Yuuko and Watanuki. Can you be bribed?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vinval
2007-04-23 05:16 am UTC (link)
Lol. Bribery? *ponders*

That does make request-for-more #2, and since whenever you suggest I write more on something, my CLAMP muse attacks me... I think it's a sign.

I'll take a crack at it soon!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]factorielle
2007-04-23 10:06 am UTC (link)
I second the offer of bribery. *nods*

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]kawaiixangel
2007-04-23 07:06 am UTC (link)
OMG! I totally agree w/ you! I thought I was the only one that notice it. He was more talkative and a bit more meaner? like rougher than he is now at the later chapters, kinda like Rikou from Legal Drug. Afterwards he became more mellow and talked less and becomes the stoic guy we all know and love.

(Reply to this)


[info]chidorinokoe
2007-04-23 07:37 am UTC (link)
I loved this Vinval! I only wish that I had done a better job as a beta. D: I hope that I can do better next time, should you ever want a second (third? fourth? or fifth?) opinion.

It's still really awesome though! I love the fact the boys started out on such bad terms with one another and you portrayed it so well here. They're two very different people thrown together by unexpected circumstances, so it's amazing to see how close they are now. Even clashing personalities, they're willing to put their lives in danger and can give up eyeballs, as well as blood, for one another. Now that's love.

The fact that they can still care so deeply, even when they really seemed to dislike -even hate- each other in the beginning, proves just how wholehearted and beautiful their love as become.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vinval
2007-04-24 05:42 am UTC (link)
You did a fine job as beta! (I have an OCD editing process of at least three drafts before anyone sees it. So.) I really do appreciate the standing offer!

They are so different now at cha 133 than they were at the beginning - even their insults have lost their grating edge and are said more like terms of endearment than insults. *squees on the inside* I don't think I could ever get enough of them.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]chidorinokoe
2007-04-25 12:11 am UTC (link)
They're like a married couple. Their dynamic is so adorable in a loud, complicated sort of way.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(Anonymous)
2007-04-24 01:32 pm UTC (link)
found your link thru ff.net, with more promises of stuff you don't post over there. will be up the whole night devouring this LJ. you're that good.

-mogboxed

(Reply to this)


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